


Talking in Code

by VaterUnser



Category: Homestuck
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-02-06
Updated: 2012-02-13
Packaged: 2017-10-30 17:32:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,578
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/334319
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VaterUnser/pseuds/VaterUnser
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It was true that he had feelings for his best bro, Dave Strider. No, that was an understatement. He was madly in love with that sick piece of man hunk. John frowned at his thoughts. That was just creepy. But that’s how it was with him</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

GG: i really think you should just tell him. screw waiting!!!

EB: uggg jade i don’t think that’s a good idea at all

EB: i mean, i know it was only like a year ago that his bro died and all

EB: thats not a lot of time to get over that...

GG: but think about it, john!! what if you’re what he needs right now?

EB: i doubt it. i mean does he even like guys?

EB: he always makes it seem like it doesn’t matter to him and he always jokes about it with tavros ironically or whatever

EB: it took me a long time to admit that i liked guys too

EB: well

EB: like

EB: i guess thats not past tense

GG: john, just trust me on this!!! i’ve talked to dave and i’m pretty sure he doesn’t even count gender in terms of relationships

EB: man, you sound like rose...

EB: look, i’ll tell him if i feel like its right, but obviously this isn’t the time.

GG: gosh, fine john.

>gardenGnostic ceased pestering ectoBiologist at [00:07]

 

            John sighed and pushed away from his computer. He reached up and ran his hands through his hair, trying to collect his thoughts. It was true that he had feelings for his best bro, Dave Strider. No, that was an understatement. He was madly in love with that sick piece of man hunk. John frowned at his thoughts. That was just creepy. But that’s how it was with him. Ever since they were 13, he noticed he looked at Dave differently than everyone else. Every little movement the coolkid made, and every twitch of his face fascinated him. After months of Rose psychoanalyzing him, he finally came to the conclusion that he, in fact, was in love with him.

            John groaned at himself, and spun his chair around a couple times. He got up and started to the kitchen to drown his feelings in food. Things would be a lot easier if Bro hadn’t died. He probably wouldn’t have to be so nervous about wanting to tell Dave, but it never seemed like it’d be the right time. Every time he saw him, he could tell that Dave was always putting on a face and pretending nothing hurt. But he knew how bad he was probably hurting more than he knew how to deal with.

            _‘Maybe Rose knows something about it...’_ John thought to himself, making his way back to his room, carrying a bag of chips. As he flopped down on his bed, he noticed his phone vibrating and jumping around on his desk. He thought about ignoring it, and just looking away, but what if it were Dave? As soon as this thought occurred to him, he lunged for the phone.

            “Hello?” He said, all too excitedly.

            “John.” The smooth feminine voice replied.

            “Oh. Rose.” John’s face fell, and fell back onto his bed.

            “I apologize for not being the person you thought I was. You know, there’s a reason they give you caller ID on cell phones.” Rose said in an almost annoyed tone. “Anyway, have you heard from Dave lately? I haven’t been able to get a hold of him for a couple days. I’m a little worried.”

            “No, he hasn’t said anything to me since Sunday.”

            “Did you tell him yet?” Rose asked, after a small pause.

            “Gosh, do you and Jade really need to bring that up everytime we talk to each other? Seriously it’s like you have no respect for my privacy!” John almost shouted, laying back on his bed, and covering his eyes with his arm out of frustration. After 30 seconds of silence, he spoke up again. “No, I haven’t.”

            “I see. Well I’m sure Jade already lectured you on how it’s best if you do sooner than later, so I’ll just save my breath on that. But John, I really think that if you just told him-“

            “Yeah, yeah I get it rose. He’ll be totally head over heels for my man sausage.” John grimaced at his word choice. Rose sighed, and he heard shifting.

            “I know him, John. And I know that even if he didn’t return your feelings, he’d still be your friend. That and he wouldn’t judge you or condescend you.” Rose said softly. She sure had that motherly tone down.

            “…You think so?” John felt tears coming, but forced them to stay down. Or whatever direction they came from.

            “Of course, John. You’re his best friend. His ‘bro’ as you two say.” There was a smile in her voice, and John couldn’t hold back his tears anymore. As he laughed at her, sobs made their way into his voice, and soon he was clenching his pillow and trying to be quiet. All he could comprehend was the tone he often heard from Rose when he got like this. The soft, comforting coo of her always made him feel like it was all right to cry. After about 10 minutes of crying and comforting and ‘let it all out’s, they said goodnight to each other and hung up.

            John turned over, his eyes now puffy and overworked, and sleep started to come over him. He wondered if it would ever be okay again, and then everything faded away as he closed his eyes. Part of him wished they wouldn’t have to open again.

                                                            **\---------**

            John woke up to furious pounding and the doorbell dinging like crazy. He jumped up, and ran to the door, just wanting to make the noises stop. What he saw made his heart skip a beat, if not a few. Dave Strider himself was already opening the door, letting himself in. They both paused, and John looked like a deer in headlights, just hanging off the last stair.

            “You didn’t answer, so…” Dave said finally. John nodded in understanding, and stepped down the last stair.

            “What’re you doing here?” John asked, suddenly becoming extremely self-conscious. He had no idea how he looked, and had just woken up. His eyes were probably still puffy, and oh god he hoped Dave didn’t notice.

            “I… just wanted to come over.” Dave said, hesitantly. He shut the door, and looked over John. “Loving the new attire, Egderp.”  John felt his face heat up and he turned to hide it.

            “Ah, heh heh I’ll go get dressed. Wanna go somewhere today?” John laughed nervously walking back up the stairs. He really hoped Dave hadn’t noticed.

            “Actually yeah. That’s why I came here.” Dave replied, following him up the stairs. There was certain emptiness in his voice, but John decided to ignore it.

            “Let’s go have breakfast and go from there then!” John offered, slipping into his room, and hurriedly grabbing whatever clothes he saw first. Luckily his wardrobe wasn’t complex enough for everything not to match. After getting dressed, he went to the bathroom and brushed his hair and teeth, and made sure he didn’t look terrible. He frowned to himself. This wasn’t a date, so why was he treating it like one? He sighed to himself, and exited the bathroom to a spaced out Dave.

            “Are you okay?” John asked without thinking. Dave turned his head slightly to him, and nodded. “Alright, then uh… are you ready?” He asked, earning himself another nod. He studied Dave for a moment, and then went to get his wallet. “I’ll buy today.” He said leaving no room for argument.

            Everything was quiet as the rode the bus downtown. Dave especially was quiet when usually he’d be talking about things that really didn’t matter, or making fun of people on the bus who were less cool than him. But instead today, he was sitting there quietly. John couldn’t quite see his eyes, but he suspected he was looking at his hands the whole time. John would’ve said something about it to him, but he supposed the bus wasn’t the best time to start “Dave Strider’s Feeling Hour: Listen to the Feelings of the One, the Only, Mr. Coolkid Dave Strider!” John frowned at his thoughts. He shrugged the thoughts out of his head and turned back to Dave.

Looking closer, he could see that his lips were curved down, in a way that suggested he didn’t even know he was doing it. If only he could just kiss them and make them smile for once. He’d kiss him, and then tell him, “Whatever’s making you sad, I can fix it.” And then everyone on the bus would stand up and clap and chant “kiss him back, kiss him back!” and then Dave would blush, look away and consider it. And then he would slowly get up the courage to lean in and…

“John?” Dave was now looking at him with a cocked eyebrow. John noticed he was still staring at Dave, and realized he must’ve been looking like a moron, fantasizing about him. He looked away quickly, and looked up at the electric sign that said the next stop.

“Oh it’s almost our stop. We should get Crepes!” John said, desperately trying to come up with a distraction.

“You know what Crepes are?” Dave asked in a flat tone.

“Yes, in fact I do!” John pouted. “I’m hurt, Dave.”

            With the mood lightened again, they got off the bus and went into the local Creperie and the waiter there greeted them. He had a long beard and didn’t look like a waiter at all. He brought them to a table and left them with menus.

            “So what’s eating at you, man?” John asked as soon as the waiter left. Dave picked up the menu, and looked over it. John did the same, but still waited for an answer.

            “Nothing, I just wanted to get out today.” Dave finally said.

            “Are you sure everything’s okay? You were really quiet on the bus…” John absentmindedly read words, but none of them actually registered.

            “I think I’ll have the one with bacon in it…”

            “Dave.” John took his menu from him, and looked him in where he assumed his eye was.

            “Everything’s fine John. I promise.” Dave said quietly. John wasn’t pleased. He reached out, and before Dave could react, he took off the sunglasses he bought for him so long ago.

            “Look me in the eye and tell me that.” John said, his demanding tone surprising even him. Dave instantly reached for the sunglasses, but John held them away from his reach. He sighed and let his hands lay on the table.

            “Fine.” Dave said, almost a whisper. “I just… Things are getting difficult to deal with nowadays. I figured if I just hung out with you for a while, some of your happy-go-lucky attitude would lighten me up or something…” John smiled a bit, and put Dave’s sunglasses back on his face.

            “Was that so hard?” He asked teasingly. He sat back down, and picked his menu back up. He actually looked over it this time, and decided he’d get the Nutella Crepe. It was a dessert crepe, but he didn’t really care.

            “Aren’t you gonna make fun of me, or tell me I’m being a baby?” Dave asked. John looked up from the menu, and realized he hadn’t even moved since he put the sunglasses back on him.

            “Dave, you should know I wouldn’t do that!” John said, reassuringly. He swore he could see a huge wave of relief wipe across Dave’s face. “I mean- Man Dave, what’s wrong with you? Are you a girl? Boys don’t have feelings! You need to think about football and uh girls and uh…” John couldn’t think of anything else.

            “You really are a moron.” Dave said flatly. John looked up at Dave and saw he wore a small grin. His heart skipped a beat, and he could feel his face heat up again. He quickly pulled up his menu to hide, and giggled to himself.

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John couldn’t take it anymore. He stood up and left, letting Dave assume he was going to the bathroom.  
> In reality, John needed to miss as much of that terrible movie as he could.

            John couldn’t stop himself from cocking an eyebrow. Usually he was prepared for this kind of thing when he was with Dave, but at this point it was too much. Wasn’t there a limit on this sort of thing? Were there really no boundaries? If there were no boundaries, then how far would be going to far?

            “It’s ironic.” Dave stated. With the way he said it, it seemed that that was the only explanation John was going to get from him.

            “But… I mean… Really?” John looked back at the cheesy movie poster Dave had pointed to. Next time he’ll know not to let him pick which movie they see. The poster had an actress that was semi-attractive, and a guy who John guessed was supposed to be the attractive male lead. But in all honesty, he just looked like a douche. They were leaning against each other with mischievous looks on their faces as if they were both planning something.

            “Yeah, dude. Seriously this is like gold in the ironic chart of elements.” Dave said breaking John out of his observation.

            “That doesn’t even make sense. Whatever, fine. We’ll see…” John glanced at the title he hadn’t even bothered to read, “I Love You, Maybe.” He immediately grimaced after saying it, but Dave was already heading inside so he didn’t see it. He followed Dave inside, and ordered both their tickets, and after Dave insisting that he get the most outrageous candy he could find, a bunch of candy.

            “This’ll make you like, 20% cooler, I promise.” Dave assured him as he led John to the theater room and made his way down the ramp of seats.

            “Did you just make a My Little Pony reference…?” John asked, and then noticed Dave was walking to the very front of the theater. “Nope. No. Get back here.” He said, stopping dead cold. Dave turned his head back and looked at him for an explanation. “We are not sitting up at the front, David.”

            “Don’t call me that. Why not?” Dave turned to fully look at him.

            “I don’t want neck pains for the rest of my life, we’re sitting up here.” John left no room for argument. “If you’re gonna force me to see this chick flick, I’m at least gonna be comfortable.” Dave looked back to the front seats for a moment, and then accepted defeat and walked up to where John was already sitting down.

            The previews started, and John was already regretting going to the movies. After about 10 minutes of john sighing out loud and making obviously annoyed noises, and Dave turning to stare at him every time he did it, the movie finally started. An annoyingly upbeat song started and it showed the female character explaining her huge plan with her friends to make a guy fall in love with her just to prove she can. She apparently hadn’t ever had a relationship, but with the way she was talking about it, she clearly had a lot of relationship experience. He supposed that was just bad writing though. Then the cameras switched to the douchie guy and he was talking with his friends’ about how he wasn’t able to have a casual relationship.

            “This doesn’t even make sense…” John whispered, mainly to himself. He felt Dave’s glare on him, and decided he should keep quiet for the rest of the movie.

            The two characters both sign up on JDate.com, despite the two not even being Jewish, and for some reason they come up on each other’s matches. After talking to each other about meeting, they agree to meet at a local coffee shop. They make passes at each other and end up acting all lovey dovey by the end of the day. John couldn’t take it anymore. He stood up and left, letting Dave assume he was going to the bathroom.

            In reality, John needed to miss as much of that terrible movie as he could. He bet if he tried, he could predict everything that was gonna happen. He went back to the counter where they sold the candy and ordered soda. The vendor laughed to himself a bit and had a knowing look in his eye.

            “What?” John folded his arms.

            “Your girlfriend forced you to see that movie with her, huh?” The vendor asked, but it wasn’t a question.

            “I wish.” John breathed “I mean, my friend dragged me here. Something about ironic purposes, I don’t know.” He offered, rolling his eyes.

            “And you aren’t on a date?” The vendor handed him the soda, and John accepted it and handed him the money.

            “No,” John replied, sipping it. “At least I don’t think so. It wouldn’t really make sense though. We’re both guys.”

            “What’s wrong with that?” This took John by surprise, and he choked on his soda.

            “Nothing I guess.” He managed to get out while coughing up the soda that decided to stay in his throat. He kept coughing and waved a hand to say goodbye to the vendor and played a couple of the arcade games the movie theatre had out for the small children, and then made his way back to the theatre. He supposed he spent enough time out of the movie that he missed something important, and he would be able to just be confused the rest of the movie. In his opinion that was a lot better than actually following the story. Once he got into the theatre and could see the screen, it showed an older guy he hadn’t seen yet bleeding everywhere. He went back to where Dave was and sat down.

            “Wow what did I miss…?” He asked quietly, laughing a bit. The main girl was frantically sobbing over the older man’s body, screaming his name. The douchie guy turned her around and held her as she cried. Noticing he didn’t get an answer, he turned to the blonde beside him, and his heart leapt. “Dave…?” He was sure he could see tears streaming down his face.

            “Shut up.” Dave whispered defensively. John opened his mouth to say something, but the only thing he could think so say was incredibly rude, so he just closed it and went back to watching the movie. Apparently the two found in love and confessed that 1) they weren’t Jewish, and 2) they were both holding bets about each other. After about 30 minutes of just them building a relationship, John was ready to smash his head into the wall. He occasionally looked back at Dave to see how he was reacting to everything but he just had his stoic expression like he usually wore.

            Finally the movie was over, and John made a scene out of it and jumped up from his seat and clapped as loud as he could. He shouted things like ‘Oh my goodness this movie! The writing! The production values! The actor!’ and faked tears.

            “DAVE DID YOU SEE THE PART WHEN THE GUY SAID HE LOVED HER MAYBE? OH MY GOODNESS THAT WAS SO CRAZY I WAS GOING TO DIE.” John continued to shout, and people stared as they left the showing room. Dave stood up and nonchalantly pushed John out of the room, still shouting praises. “OH MISTER VENDOR, THE MOVIE GAVE ME THE CHILLS, I DON’T KNOW WHY YOU SAID MY GIRLFRIEND WOULD FORCE ME TO SEE IT.”

            “Oh my god you’re a freak.” Dave said, pushing him faster. John stopped shouting and transitioned into a giggle fit.

            “It was such a terrible movie!”

            “It was ironic, shut up.” Dave seemed like he was pouting, but with those glasses, who knew.

            They made their way to the bus station, and John noticed how dark it had gotten while they were inside. “Hmm… So now what? Are you going home?” He asked, turning to the probably-not-cool-anymore-after-insisting-that-terrible-movie cool-kid.

            “Actually… Er…” Did Dave just stutter? “Could I maybe stay at your place tonight?” Dave got out, not looking at John.

            “Yeah, whatever. You don’t have to be so formal about it, dude!” John laughed, and patted Dave’s back. “My dad wont be home for a couple days so…”

            “Good…” Dave said, more to himself. John forced himself not to hear that the way he wanted to, and sat on the bench with him waiting for the bus back home.

            John sighed to himself as he opened the door to the house. He ended up walking a lot that day and his legs were screaming at him. He made a small decision in the back of his head to get a car. “You know where all the food is. Do you want anything to drink?” He offered Dave who was surprisingly quiet upon arrival to his house. “We have pretty much everything.” He expected a comment about how his Dad was rich and of course he had everything and why isn’t he fat from all the cakes his dad baked for him but he didn’t get anything like that.

            “No, I’m fine.” Dave replied quietly, taking a seat on the couch.

            “Alright, well everything’s in the fridge if you change your mind!” John chirped, smiling at the other boy who continued to stay as still as John had ever seen him. Something was wrong, and John could tell Dave still had something else he was hiding from him. “Listen, Dave…” he started, walking over to sit next to Dave. Dave seemed to tense up, but still looked forward.

            “Yeah?” He answered. “What’s up?” There was definitely shakiness in his voice.

            “Something’s up with you and you aren’t fooling me, dude.” John paused to observe his reaction. “Don’t you trust me?” He saw Dave give the slightest movement John could tell was a flinch.

            “…’f course I trust you…” Dave said quietly.

            “Then what’s eating at you? You’ve been quiet all day, and Rose said she hasn’t been able to get a hold of you, and you cried at the movies, and you came here out of nowhere when usually you text me or something. I know that you’re all into the ironic crap where you just do whatever you want all the time but-“ John didn’t have time to finish. The next thing he knew, Dave had leaned in and silenced him.

            With his lips.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok just letting you guys know for some reason this chapter came out really fast and don't expect updates this fast in the future  
> i actually had it done yesterday but didn't have time to post it  
> seriously i'm not one of those good writers who meets their deadlines.  
> i honestly hardly even look over my work for errors. i let word do it for me and if there are anymore errors, then i just accept them  
> anyway enjoy or whatever
> 
> oh yeah and the "paste from word" butchered the first chapter with the formatting but whatever you got the point  
> should i make these chapters longer? i figured i didn't want to make em too long but what do you think  
> it might do that again


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> you brought this on yourself.

A million things rushed through John’s head, and it made him dizzy. He didn’t know if he should pull back, push forward, kiss back, freak out, cry, or laugh it off as a joke. So instead he just sat there, wide-eyed. After a few seconds, Dave seemed to realize what he was doing and pulled back.

“Sorry. You talked too much.” Dave simply went back to sitting down and staring forward. John opened his mouth to say something, but nothing came out. He knew his face must’ve been the shade of a tomato. 3 minutes went by, and John still hadn’t moved. He was so shocked; he couldn’t even manage a word. “Bro?”

“Oh, uh.” John finally said laughing nervously.

“You’re not gonna tell me you’re not a homosexual?” Dave asked, offering a small smile.

“Mmm.” John didn’t even answer the question, and got up. He needed to do something, anything to pretend none of that just happened. He settled for getting a glass of water. He took a sip over the sink, and then slowly started to drink it, hoping things wouldn’t be awkward anymore.

“Man, I didn’t know you liked it _that_ much. Jeez, Egbert.” He could hear the smirk in his voice, but that didn’t stop him from choking on his water.

“Dave!” John managed to shout between coughs. “That’s not funny!” He made his way across the kitchen and glared at Dave. “What if I just died, and it was all cause you made me choke on my water?”

“Sorry, sorry.” Dave said, putting his hands up as if John had a gun.

“… But Dave?” John’s tone got quiet, and he started back to the couch next to him.

“What?”

“Was that really why you uh… did that? Cause I was talking too much? Or…” John trailed off, maybe sounding a little too hopeful.

“Only if you want it to be.” 

John’s eyes grew wide, and he turned to Dave, who had a soft expression on his face. John’s heart fluttered, and he turned his head to his lap, considering what to do. He nodded to himself, and turned back to Dave and smiled.

“Dave… I…” He started, but didn’t think he needed to finish. He decided he’d just give up on words, and leaned in close and reached up to take Dave’s sunglasses off for the second time that day. He could see the small look of panic in Dave’s eyes now, and he gave him a reassuring smile. Dave just looked down, and tried to hide from John. “No.” John whispered, and pulled Dave’s chin up, forcing the blonde to look at him.

“Just kiss me already.” Dave said, glancing to the side. John gave a small laugh, and leaned in to press his lips gently to the other boy’s. He swore that his heart was going to explode from fluttering so much, as he felt Dave start to kiss him back. John smiled into the kiss and deepened it further, nipping Dave’s lip. Dave gave a small whimper, and then froze, hearing the noise come from him. John giggled a bit, pulling away, and saw Dave’s face was bright red. Dave pouted and grabbed John’s face and pulled them back together, almost painfully; Although, John wasn’t really complaining. Part of his mind couldn’t believe this was happening. Another part of his mind just wanted to drown himself in this moment. It was all he ever wanted for the past few years. 

John decided he wanted to see how much he could get away with, and licked Dave’s lips. Dave let out a startled noise, that wasn’t quite a whimper, but definitely wasn’t a manly grunt. He felt Dave pulling away and his stomach dropped. Did he go too far?

“Okay can we stop being all gentle and polite and crap?” Dave asked, looking at John with an almost annoyed expression.

“Do you wanna demonstrate what you mean?” John was surprised how cool he was sounding right now. He could almost predict Dave’s thought process by his expressions. First it was considering, then he turned red a bit, then he furrowed his eyebrows, and then it looked like he reached a conclusion. 

“Yeah.” He said simply. John was going to comment on how he took so long for a one-word answer, but he didn’t exactly have the ability to do so. Dave was crawling into his lap, and straddled his hips. John leaned back and smiled, waiting for Dave to kiss him this time. Dave saw this, and the annoyed expression came right back along with the almost angry smashing of lips. But this time it was an open mouthed kiss, rather than the sweet innocent ones John gave him. He forced his way into John’s mouth and licked everywhere he could like it was the end of the world. John grabbed Dave’s face again, and tried to show him by example to go a bit slower. Dave seemed to understand what he meant, because his movements because slow

but then nic cage came in and broke the two up and used his ghost rider lame whip thing and it got caught around their necks, and they died

and then nic cage leant down and ate their flesh

still think nic cage is cool?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> someone i know found this fanfic so  
> deleting this account hearts hearts hearts  
> i'd say i apologize, but this wasn't for any of you anyway.  
> ;;;;)

**Author's Note:**

> So this isn't my first fic, but it's the first one i've ever actually posted. most of the time i keep my ideas on my flash drive, but this one i plan on doing for awhile so whatev. if you don't like it, then just leave. you're wasting your energy.  
> i got this idea by listening to Margot and the Nuclear So and So's song "Talking in Code"  
> and at this point idk if i'll make the ending happy or sad.


End file.
